What’s Left?

Jan 16th, 2014 | By admin | Category: Opinion

A friend sent me a funny email the other day. We don’t know who the original author is and I did have to edit this a bit for the newspaper. Here it is:


1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the *!_# are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection … again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

My favorites: 2, 3, 4 (esp. 4), 7, 9, 10, and 11!

I do wonder who sits around and thinks of all these things. I have to admit, I have thought of one or two of these on occasion - but didn’t write them down and so they went off into cyberspace in my brain.

I hope you’re having a good January or Juan-uary if you watch “The Bachelor” or Jan-u-any - if you frequent Subway. Let’s see - it could be After-Christmas-ary….or New-year-ary- that’s hard to say.

My cats are really glad that the weather got a little (lot) warmer so they can go out on the screened in porch. Now I know what teachers go through when the kids can’t go out for recess. Whew!!!

Go to your happy place. See you next week!